Where to begin? It’s a rainy evening here in good old Waukesha (and when I say “good” I really mean Dante’s omitted tenth circle of hell.) After a lot of thought I’ve decided it’s time to shake off the dust and start writing again. Why you might ask? The same reason anyone has a facebook. I’m a narcissistic asshole.
To be honest though writing is therapeutic to me. I find when you really are trying to sort out your problems the only person you can really confide in is yourself. The story never is a hundred percent truthful when told to another person because honestly, who really wants to be told they are full of shit?
Throughout my life I’ve started a handful of journals to try and sort out my thoughts. Usually stemming from some sort of hardship I was going through at the time, be it a particularly difficult breakup, losing my job, or me just being a bitch about something. Each one I found beneficial in helping me overcome whatever it was that influenced it.
First off I want to give you a little background on the author. When I look at a piece of art or read a piece of literature, I always do a little research into the person behind the work. I feel it helps me connect with it better when I know what place they were in their life when they created it.
Six years out of high school, I sit here in my mid-twenties really wondering where the time has gone. After years of indecision and half-hearted attempts I realize I’ve never really stayed focused long enough to fully accomplish anything of significance. If you had asked sixteen-year-old me where I would be now he would have said the following:
“ Done with college making stacks of cash and banging a total hottie, maybe seven.”
So far I’m 0 for 2. Well I guess technically 0 for 8. What happened? I could tell you it was lack of direction after high school from my parents. I could say it’s because I had trouble focusing while working full time and going to school. Hell, I could say it is because life isn’t fair.
You know what that would be though? It would be fucking bullshit. In all honesty I’m here because up until now I’ve been controlled by two things, fear and laziness. Like one of Peter Pan’s lost boys, growing up has been a terrifying concept to me. Whether it’s my school work or my relationships, I’ve not applied myself to the standard I know I’m capable of. There is no reason I should be working in a job that is below me, going to sleep alone every night. I'm too good of a man for that.
So at this point I feel I’ve reached a crossroads, and the decisions I make in the next few years will significantly dictate where I grow old and who it is that grows old with me. It’s not all doom and gloom if I make the right choices. But the time for indecision has passed if I want to become the man I know I should be.
So here I am, kick starting the blog again. This time though it is more than just a hobby. It is me finally finishing something that I started, and hopefully making that a habit that will emerge in all the aspects of my life. What’s going to be in it? Well, anything I want because it’s my God damn blog. Sometimes it will be serious, other times funny, most of the time completely incoherent. It’s not meant for anyone specific. It’s meant for me. My place to release the things locked in my cranium that no one else can see. What I can promise though is that it will be honest, it will be truthful, and most of all it will be me. Good, Bad, and Studly.
