136 Days

136 days.....

That's it, 136 days left in my undergraduate career. It's taken me almost 10 years and 3 different schools to get to this point, and only 18 weeks separate me from finally being able to call myself a college graduate. Doesn't seem like a lot when put into context of a lifetime, but considering the personal turmoil caused by years of indecision, depression, and self-loathing, these next 136 days cannot go by soon enough.

For years I have been able to put my future off until later, using college as my excuse to not take chances. Growing up I always found adventurers fascinating. I gravitated towards those who took risks and saw the world as a never ending source of personal growth, challenging themselves in the most uncomfortable but gratifying environments possible. I always pictured myself doing the same thing, never actually taking the steps necessary to be the person on the screen or pages of the book I was reading. I was scared.

But here I sit, a stones throw away from stripping myself of any excuse for my own lack of adventure. Deep down everyone thinks they have what it takes to be the hero we see in our stories, but until we are put in the same position as those people it is unsure how we will react. As I inch closer and closer to taking that step into the next chapter in my life I can't help but wonder if I have what it takes.

We are all presented with the choice on how we want our lives to turn out. Some people choose to hide behind their insecurities, using excuse after excuse as to why they are stuck where they are. I certainly am guilty of being one of those people over the course of my young adult life. On the other hand others choose to take that leap into the lions den, choosing to ignore those excuses and hope that their instincts can guide them towards the right path. Regardless of whether I am ready or not, that leap is coming.

136 days.....