Oh God I'm Writing Again.....

It's been ages since my last post. This has been for a lot of reasons. All of which are perfectly acceptable excuses for not taking the time to work on a sub-par blog. Either way this piece isn't very good anyhow so you weren't missing much.

I originally wanted to look back on 2012. I would have probably said something extremely cliche like "it was a year of ups and downs" or "I've grown so much blah blah blah," but who really cares about that. Every year has its ups and downs, and for the most part everybody grows. I mean hell, you have 365 days to at least do SOMETHING to better yourself. Even if it is just finally remembering to put the toilet seat down when you are finished.

At the end of the day though, what can you really do with the past? It is what it is. You try to take the pros and cons and grow from them. Ultimately though you have to move on from all of it. The good times, the bad times, they are all gone. I used to be a person who dwelled on the past too much, and to a degree I still do. I tend to overanalyze things way too much, especially if something I did got me in trouble. I'd create different angles I could have gone about things in my head, trying to fix it somehow. This would go on for days, even weeks depending on how serious the issue was.

As I look on to 2013, I know there is much that I have done in my past that I am not proud of. I've hurt people that didn't deserve to be hurt and things have fallen apart with people I truly cared for. There is nothing I can do about that now. The person typing away at this keyboard is who he is.

Going into this new year I'm hoping all of you continue to work on who you are. We all can be better people in some way or another. Don't beat yourself up in the process though. I've made my fair share of mistakes that I wish I could take back, but dwelling on them will only hinder any progress I try to make in my own personal growth.

So look back on 2012, acknowledge it's impact on your life, but let it go. 2013 is a clean slate for all of us. Make it count.

You Better Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

Ahh, it feels good to be back behind a computer writing again.  I apologize to all three of my readers for the huge break between my last entry and now.  With school starting back up a few months ago it was hard to find time to just sit down and let my brain vomit.  Due to a fantastic scheduling fuck up though, I have a break until June, so here I am back and ready to go.

My last entry was not the most positive. If you couldn’t tell I was definitely in a dark place. Not the best time to be posting things on the internet but the blog is meant to be a place where I put my thoughts. And like every other person on the planet they are not always happy ones.

A lot has happened in the month or so since my last entry. I finished my first class at U of P a few weeks back.  It was a simple intro class but it gave me a ton of confidence. I think what I took away from it the most was that I actually am capable of having success in college. The voice of self doubt has been following me for longer than I can remember, fueled with every terrible grade and half ass effort. There were many times I questioned whether I was a hard enough worker to be good at anything in my life, let alone really successful.  I knew deep down I could do anything, but the confidence to follow through was seemed to always be missing when I needed it most.

Now if you haven’t read it, my last entry was about the females in my life. Boy did I get some backlash from that! I mean it was very flattering to find out I had so many readers, but DAMN. It was very obvious that many people missed the point I was trying to get across, that I was unhappy. I was unhappy with still being single, and tired of being led along by girls who had no intention of being serious with me. The funniest part about the feedback I received was that ninety percent of it was from people that were guilty of what I was talking about! Without even naming names they knew who they were. Not a huge thing but I just found it funny. Go ahead and un-friend me on Facebook, you were shitty friends anyway.

So here I am, again surrounded by tons of people, but at the same time completely alone. I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll ever meet “the one.”  I’m wondering whether I’ll ever truly find my place. A friend group I can truly count on, my own family I can love and adore, my overall niche on this planet. It has to be coming soon….eventually……maybe?

Wow, that got serious quick. I promise my next entry will be lighter. Now if you’ll excuse me, Harry Potter is on and well, that is much better than anything I have to say.

Life's Getting Bleeker....

                                 Headband strapped on, cup in place, time for a speed rant....

• We need to bring back merit badges like in boy scouts. Men are really just oversized teenagers anyway. Why not reward us in the same fashion. Kicked a Dutch oven out the bottom of the sheets? Merit badge. Took the time to shave off that unsightly ass hair? Merit badge. Suffer through a terrible romantic comedy without expecting to get laid after....actually fuck the merit badge. If I just spent 2 hours watching Jennifer Lopez work through her lady issues I better be getting something out of it.
• Dear guy who invented faux testicles that hang off the back of trucks….go kill yourself. Nothing screams “I am an illiterate douchecanoe” more than seeing those things hanging off the back of some guys 87 Bronco. You really want to score more tail? Buy a Tempur-Pedic. 
• This is for all you hipsters out there, male or female. What are you trying to prove? So you spent seventy five dollars on a polo that is two dollars at Goodwill because it is retro. That doesn’t make you cool. That makes you a fucking idiot. And guys, skinny jeans? Really? When it comes down to it a woman wants a man that will wear the pants in the relationship, not her pants.
• The world is going to end within the next 50 years. How do I know? I commute to work everyday. The level of douchebaggery that is represented on the roadways everyday is appalling. I truly believe you can judge the character of a person on how they act when they drive. Hey guy who shoots up the turn lane and cuts in front at the light, fuck you. Same to you lady who almost killed me today because she was too busy talking on the phone to notice the stop sign. AND WHEN DID NOT USING YOUR TURN SIGNAL BECOME OK?!?! How hard is it to hit that thing?!?! I mean God damn it!